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Zeus Zephyr Happosai Bair
Zeus is the official ruler of this house, the yards outside, the interior of my car, and any other space she is presently occupying. (This includes hotel rooms, other people's houses, veterinary offices, etc.)
Her breath could kill a whale. No one believes me when I warn them of her extreme hallitosis, they all say something like, "All dogs have bad breath." Nonononono... Most dog have "unpleasant" breath. Zeus' breath leaves you searching desperately for a pile of raw sewage to sniff to try to "mellow out" the stench. (You've been warned.)
She also has the weird habit of stealing my socks and underwear. Luckily, she's rather predictable in this, and always brings them to my bed, so I don't have to go searching for them.
Unlike most dogs who follow their masters around and do tricks and such, Zeus is a total hedonist, and wants nothing more than for any human in her general vicinity to worship her like a god. (Or at least rub her belly, and hand-feed her bits of meat.) She only knows two tricks: "Praying Paws", where lays on her back and puts her two front paws together as if to say, "Please! Please rub my belly!, and "Kisses", where she will lick your mouth if you say "Kisses!". (Note: Her breath wasn't nearly so nasty when she was a puppy.)
From all these things, it would seem like she's a pretty crappy pet, but then you just have to meet her. She is the sweetest, most loyal, and lovable dog around. She wants to go everywhere I go, including on cross-country car trips, and is always genuinely happy to be with "her people". She's very protective, and seems to be completely unaware that she is so small, as she chases dogs much larger than her around with authority.
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Height: 8" (At the shoulder)
Weight: 8 lbs
Favorite Food: Hamburger
Favorite Pastime: Barking
Likes: Belly Rubbing
Dislikes: The Damn Kid
 
Blanket Monster:
A game where Zeus hides under the blankets to lull
Ike into a false sense of security before kicking her butt.
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